


Breathe

by idrilsdarkwritings (idrilhadhafang)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con Of An Underage Poe By A Third Party, Ben Does Not Hurt Him Here, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Past Sexual Harassment, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Ben Solo, by Zorii’s dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24362131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilsdarkwritings
Summary: Ben learns unpleasant truths about Poe’s stay on Kijimi.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 7
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Free Space — Dark Fic
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Warnings: Mentioned attempted underage rape/non-con, inappropriate touching, drug references, references to physical abuse.

They still had a while before they got fully away from Kijimi. Ben was thinking of stopping at Hosnia Prime first, just to get proper treatment for Poe. He was doing his best, of course, but he couldn’t solve Poe’s drug addiction on his own. Especially five years of it.   
  
There had to be something wrong with it. Someone as kind as Poe wouldn’t just go around smuggling spice. There had to be something more. Poe was too kind, too fundamentally well-intentioned, to just do something like that.   
  
"You didn’t really tell me everything,” Ben said even as they made hot chocolate — Uncle Luke tended to do that when someone was upset. “I mean — you said a lot about things that...didn’t make sense at the time.”  
  
"Yeah. I did. I’m sorry, Ben,” Poe said, softly. “I...I never wanted to hurt you like that. You’ve had nothing but faith in me.”  
  
“S’okay.”  
  
“Case in point,” Poe said. He took a deep breath. “That’s my problem, Ben. I was an idiot.”  
  
“You made a mistake.”  
  
“Sometimes I wonder if I _am_ a mistake.” Poe sighed as he spoke. “Zorii and I...Zorii’s my friend. She’s still caught up in that damn lifestyle. We shouldn’t have fought; I should have been able to get her out of there...”  
  
“She trapped you there,” Ben said, confused.   
  
Poe shrugged. “She was as duped as me. She was my age, you know, when I met her. Sixteen year old girl, ran away from home because her piece of bantha fodder dad was beating her. She must have thought anywhere was better than that prison cell she called home. But she’s trapped, and...” Poe ran a hand through his hair. “Kriff, I just threw her to the kath hounds.”  
  
"You did what you could,” Ben said. He could see snippets in Poe’s mind, a woman with striking dark eyes, her hair messed up by sleep — by a nightmare. _“I’m fine, Spaceman; I’m far away from that bastard. Don’t worry about me.”_  
  
“It just baffles me,” Poe said. “Then again, I saw a lot on Kijimi that baffled me. It makes me wish I could fix everything there.” A sigh. “Zorii called me ‘Spaceman’. Because Mom was a pilot. Maybe if I went there, I could be Super-Spaceman, helping everyone who needed it...”  
  
Ben nodded. He couldn’t offer Poe a platitude about how you couldn’t save everyone. Because he knew that feeling too.   
  
“But yeah...trying to be a hero was how I got into this mess in the first place. You remember the Dobo Case on Telos, when that laserbrain said that he was smuggling illegal stuff to help people? But yeah, I got seduced by that idea. That I was somehow helping people. They talked about the situation on Kijimi, how people were sick and suffering and didn’t have the stuff they needed. Spice can have medicinal purposes too, and...they used that fact to rope me in.”  
  
Ben nodded. “Of course they did. I don’t blame you. You were a child, Poe.”  
  
“Not for all of it.”  
  
“You were when you ran away,” Ben said. "You were, what, sixteen? That’s technically a child.”  
  
Poe, slowly, nodded.   
  
“I guess. I just feel like there are people who are probably dead...just because of what Zorii and I did. I mean, I didn’t know, but that doesn’t change anything, does it? And...and the spice, I took it because — I guess I just...I don’t even know. It didn’t help what happened to me...”  
  
“Poe,” Ben said, “What did they do?” He didn’t have any images, but he had an idea as to what they did to Poe. Nothing had been completed, but it had been attempted...  
  
Poe sighed. “I was sixteen. It started with some rude comments from the other spice runners. I mean, Zorii got it too, but it doesn’t make it better. It just made me feel so gross, like I was covered in dirt. And one of them...”  
  
 _Groping. Attempted assault._ Even the fact that Poe, his Poe, had nearly been sexually assaulted on Kijimi...it made Ben wish he could have granted every spice runner on Kijimi a painful death.   
  
“I mean, they didn’t, like, do anything completed but...kriff, Ben. I just wondered if I had a target on my back that said ‘Do What You Want With Me’. I mean...” Poe was hyperventilating now. It was clear that he was getting close to a panic attack, if not actually having one right now.   
  
“Poe,” Ben said softly, “They’re the ones who should be kriffing ashamed of themselves. Not you.” A pause. “Poe...can I touch your hand?”  
  
“It would help,” Poe said.   
  
Ben reached out then, traced soothing circles on Poe’s palm. It was something that was probably too soon, considering Poe was already reeling from nearly being raped (and Force, Ben wished that he’d been there to protect Poe. If only he wasn’t good as trapped at the Academy, if only he wasn’t a coward), but he loved Poe.   
  
“It helps,” Poe said. “Thanks.” A beat. “Sometimes I think I — ”  
  
“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that. If someone tries to rape a godsdamned kid, it’s on them, not the kid. It’s common kriffing sense,” Ben said fervently.   
  
“But I — guys aren’t supposed to — ”  
  
“Well, kriff that!” Ben said. "You’re not weak, Poe. There is nothing that you could have done that makes you any less strong. Those people targeted you because they were weak.” Maybe Ben wasn’t a criminologist or something, but he could feel it, deep in his bones. “You’re so strong, Poe. You truly are.”  
  
Poe nodded. Then, “Thank you. I guess I've been beating myself up for a while. I don’t deserve your faith.”  
  
“You need it.” Ben said.   
  
He wasn’t about to frighten Poe. Far from it. He wasn’t about to force his affection on Poe too soon. But he could support Poe, love him, protect him — even if it cost him his life.


End file.
